“NO. No no no. I don’t want to screw you. I just love you. When did who you want to screw become the whole game? Since when is the person you want to screw the only person you get to love? It’s so stupid, Tiny! I mean, Jesus, who even gives a f**k about sex?! People act like it’s the most important thing humans do, but come on. How can our sentient f*cking lives revolve around something slugs can do. I mean, who you want to screw and whether you screw them? Those are important questions, I guess. But they’re not that important. You know what’s important? Who would you die for? Who do you wake up at five forty-five in the morning for even though you don’t even know why he needs you? Whose drunken nose would you pick?!”
― John Green, Will Grayson, Will Grayson
Deepak Chopra has said that “it is a common belief that if we want to experience more happiness each day, we merely need to increase the number or intensity of pleasurable experiences we have in life. In truth, sustained happiness is something we generate in the silence of our consciousness.”
Here I feel he is indirectly bringing up sex and sensuality discretely via the words intensity and pleasurable experiences, however tongue and cheek my opinion might be.
But I think he has a point. The way modern society views sex as a commodity to throw around as a trade, and not as a sacred act is a bit disconcerting. We run around so much looking for happiness, looking for a good time, looking to laugh, looking to get your rocks off, looking to express our emotions in a socially acceptable environment; and the only one that is available en mass is located at bars. There alcohol loosens you up, and it is acceptable behavior in some establishments to get loud, obnoxious, laugh like hyaenas, maybe even cry in the bathroom, maybe pick someone up to take to the bedroom, and drink your worries away however impermanent. This is not true happiness. It is only an illusion of it.
It takes time to outgrow patterns of behaviour, and especially patters where ego and embarrassment and suppression like to dictate how we perceive and interact with the world. We have a fundamental right to show our emotions. We have a right to cry, to laugh, to smile, without inhibition. We have a right to have sex with whoever we find attractive (as long as they feel the same way.) We have a right to embrace our sexuality, openly, freely, healthily, and not with shame. If you are a girl and find girls attractive, so be it. If you are a guy and like guys, don’t fear other’s judgement. It is 2014. If you are kinky and are into things not main-stream… as long as you are mindful of your health and wellbeing… all the better. Have fun! Get tantric! Experiment! But not at someone else’s expense. There is a fine line between sharing your bed with someone you value and love as another expression of the Divine, and with someone who you are just taking advantage of in a lonely and vulnerable position.
There is a saying that I subscribe to:
“Your naked body should belong only to those who fall in love with your naked soul.”
By embracing these fundamental rights of the sacral, we awaken our inner sensuality, desire, joy, and embrace our vulnerability. To do so takes great courage, and we should all applaud our efforts at transformation and coming into our own in our own good and healthy time.