Forty Rules of Love in Forty Days


This will probably be the longest post I will ever make. Read it in bits. Introduce yourself to each rule. I challenge you as I have done and many more to over the next Forty Days to read each rule, allow its many layers to unfold for you. To apply it to your day, and allow your awareness to blossom.

Or, go out and purchase Elif Shafak’s book, Forty Rules of Love. Either way, you will be introduced to some of the best advice anyone could ever give in the realms of not only Love but of Living.


The past 40 days have been an incredible achievement. And to those who were not amongst us or left early on, here are our last final words.

Many of us have used these amazing and beautiful words as nudges in the direction toward awareness and a higher consciousness.

Many of us have found courage to leave unhealthy and abusive relationships.

Many of us have found the courage to forgive the past.

And many of us have found the courage to love again…

Across the centuries, Shams of Tabriz still holds the hearts of the world in his ascended hands. Let us take today, and everyday after this one to remember him and what he has done for us. Let us thank him a million and one times by remembering these forty pieces of insight into the hearts of mankind.

Let us each take our favourites and go about our days, sharing in the blissful and romantic rules of Love.


This I know for sure: “Love is an elevated self.”

Love is the connective fabric of our reality. To live without Love is surely an impossibility. How could it be? It is around every leaf, every bend in the river, under every rock, and behind every cloud. It is in the neighbor who always smiles and greets you each morning. It is in the child laughing in the park. It is in every flower offered with an intention of appreciation. Love is in the food we make to share with our loved ones. It is in the water and wine we drink. With every breath we take we become drunken with love. In every step we take, in every dance we move our hips to. It is in every morning you look over at your lover and see with pure clarity the soul that lays next to you. Love surely is the art of the cosmos. Every relationship a different painting, a different sketch of the Divine…

This I also know for sure:

Love can raise us up, and also bring us down. It can force us to let go of our most cherished friends, but it also allows us to keep the memory. Love is a great teacher who with each new person we meet, allows us to move forward, to grow, to yes, sometimes trip and plant our faces in the dirt; but it does so in order to give us an angle of a perspective we did not before see. It offers us incredible gifts, some not always so decorative but always essential to the design.

Beloveds, may your days always be filled with Love.

And on the days when you feel fear creep back in, return to the words of Shams of Tabriz and take comfort. Allow yourself to be swept up and away on the memory of what we have done here. Remember your strength and courage. Remember those moments that have brought you to this very moment, and do not forsake a single one.

How long will we be able to Love? No one knows. Some lovers come into our lives and sweep us up off our feet and are timeless. They stay with us and put up with us, and yes, sometimes they marry us. Every perfect imperfection they are wed. But then there are those other special Lovers who come into our lives for only a season, and they teach us and show us and love us like no one else has before. They nudge us and remind us of what is possible in this lifetime.

This summer, I have known a great Love. And I am happy, so very happy he came into my life. I would not give up the time we had with each other for anything in the world. And I am also so very happy, that we have formed a bond that however fleeting is also timeless.

So now, on this very last day of discussion. I say farewell to you my Beloveds. I will love you and love you still. I thank all of you for being a witness to what we have done here. In the future, know that you can come to me. Find me. And trust in the stars above that everything REALLY will be alright.

Because you are loved and lovable.

Namaste, my dear dear sweet Beloveds…

The Forty Rules of Love

Shams of Tabriz was a Persian Sufi and roaming dervish at the end of the twelfth and early thirteenth century. He is also known to be the Beloved of the Mystic and Poet Rumi. Theirs was a friendship beyond the comprehension of the time. It was what so few of us are able to find: True Love.


Rule 1
“How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. If God brings to mind mostly fear and blame, it means there is too much fear and blame welled inside us. If we see God as full of love and compassion, so are we.”

Day 1

Think about this one for a bit, and ask yourself, Do you agree? What is Shams trying to share with us? How might our hearts be opened with this rule?

Layer 1: How we see God. Layer 2: How we see the World. Layer 3: How we see Other Beings. Layer 4: How we see our Higher Selves.
Life is what you make of it. Law of attraction baby!  If we can learn to change our perspective of how we see our reality, then reality as we know is shifts. Our energy shifts. Our hearts shift. By embracing love and compassion we can accept our fears/shame and open our lives to the untold sweetness that is Love.

“I think therefore I AM, and I AM there I think.” I feel therefore I AM, and I AM therefore I FEEL…

And as we see and visualize ourselves as this Divine Entity we then can realize that, hey, we are Divine. That we can accept our own divine power to love ourselves, as Jesus, Mary, Buddha, Kuan Yin, etc. love us and SEE us for what we truly are: Divine expressions of Love.

Rule 2
“The path to the Truth is a labour of the heart, not of the head. Make your heart your primary guide! Not your mind. Meet, challenge and ultimately prevail over your nafs with your heart. Knowing your ego will lead you to the knowledge of God.”

Day 2

Here we are speaking of Truth, with a capital ‘T,’ and “nafs” which in its unrefined state in Sufism means the “false ego.” What is the difference between truth and Truth? How can we overcome the false ego in order to listen to our hearts (the pure ego)? What is holding YOU back from this? How might you let go of your real causes of sorrow and bondages to material desires into order to discover “the knowledge of God?” Crank those brains people….and remember, LOVE THYSELF. You are a Spirit Soul of Unconditioned Consciousness.

it can be SO DIFFICULT, especially because we have been taught since children to BE logical, practical, stale, greedy, selfish, profitable and predictable instead of just BEING in our natural state of holism, esteem, compassion, cooperation, and creativity while maintaining our own unique Truths and authenticity. It is true, overcoming the ego is a hard endevour, but if we take a good look at ourselves, and at our divisions within of duality, confusion, thought disturbance, separation, limitations, doubts, and fears of all sorts we can reach enlightenment (knowledge of God) by overcoming all of these with acceptance without judgement and of course…with LOVE.

we all bring our own unique perspectives and our own unique truths to life and love, and Divine Truth is ultimately the goal for all of us to see underneath all the exterior differences and see the similarities and connection in that Truth.

Rule 3

“You can study God through everything and everyone in the universe, because God is not confined in a mosque, synagogue or church. But if you are still in need of knowing where exactly His abode is, there is only one place to look for him: in the heart of a true lover.”

Day 3

We keep speaking of “God” but what IS “God” anyway? What would you substitute in place of “God” if you are not comfortable with this language? I have always felt strongly that God/The Divine/The Great Spirit/The Universe can NOT be confined to any place of worship because how can you box in the intangible? It would be like trying to confine a rainbow to only one spectrum of light, or confine a kiss to only specific moments like 2am. In this way, the only true place to find the Divine is always and everywhere. And ESPECIALLY within the heart of one who LOVES and loves purely and wholeheartedly and sincerely and unconditionally. Where there is love there is the Divine. What to you constitutes a “true lover?” Is it similar to what the Beatles called a “dreamer?”

There is an innocence that engulfs a true lover, because they cannot help but be pure of heart, however naive that may be; they see it as of no consequence. They are willing and are so grateful for life that they have no other option other than to love and love freely and openly and warmly and with the damnedest most cute of smiles…

Layer 1: God lives in the heart of the true lover because his/hers knows no bounds. Layer 2: Creation lives in the heart soil of the loved and lovable. Layer 3: The heart’s garden is from where all life springs, grows, harvests, and eventually dies to then be reborn. Layer 4: Love is Life as well as death and as such cannot be contained. Life/love is compost. Loving rebirth has no limits.

Layer 0.5: To know God /enlightenment we must study the heart of a true lover within us. (It surprises me how many layers and thoughts can be provoked out of these simple yet VERY profound rules.)

when you seek love with all

Rule 4

“Intellect and love are made of different materials. Intellect ties people in knots and risks nothing, but love dissolves all tangles and risks everything. Intellect is always cautious and advices, ‘Beware too much ecstasy’, whereas love says, ‘Oh, never mind! Take the plunge!’ Intellect does not easily break down, whereas love can effortlessly reduce itself to rubble. But treasures are hidden among ruins. A broken heart hides treasures.”

Day 4

Would this not be a wonderful world if we could only implement it world wide? Ours would be a world ruled by love and not by the dollar sign.
What materials do you feel comprises love and intellect? What “treasures” is Shams talking about that are hidden in a broken heart? Love is fluid and it comes to us, finds us, nurtures us, and then leaves us. When? We do not ever know. Why? We do not ever know. And return it does as well. When and why? We do not ever know. But what we do know is that Love endures. Amongst the rubble there still remain artefacts of the heart intact, however dusty. They simply must be sought after, discovered, and honoured on the mantle of the soul with reverence and, yes, perhaps even with tears and sighs of times past, and times survived and, yes, oh yes, of times and memories filled with Love’s laughter.

“The greatest thing you can do for another being is to provide the unconditional love that comes from making contact with that place in them that is beyond conditions, which is just pure consciousness, pure essence. That is, once we acknowledge each other as existing, just being here, just being, then each of us is free to change optimally. If I can just love you because here we are, then you are free to grow as you need to grow.”— Ram Dass

Every lover should be free to change optimally and be able to grow as we all need to. Human beings change with time, we EVOLVE, and especially as spiritual seekers we challenge our morals, values, and paradigms all the time, which creates a beautiful rainbow of facets to our soul and personality. Which is why so many may be attracted to us in the first place, no

Rule 5

“Most of problems of the world stem from linguistic mistakes and simple misunderstanding. Don’t ever take words at face value. When you step into the zone of love, language, as we know it becomes obsolete. That which cannot be put into words can only be grasped through silence.”

Day 5

Can you remember the last time you just SAT in SILENCE with your (a) Lover? Do you remember the immense connection, the palpable energy between you? If you have never done this, make the time to just BE in each other’s presence. Meditate together and stare into each other’s eyes… Oh, la… 

And even if you don’t meditate, have you ever just sat together but separately doing your own thing(s) while in company with one another? There is just something so special about these moments, when each can commune with their souls (even if its only subconsciously) without the obligation to talk all the time. Sometimes lovers are too nervous to speak, or fear saying the wrong thing because we are too keen on speaking after OVERTHINKING, instead of just FEELING the moment and allowing communication to flow naturally, as it should. And sometimes, oh, sometimes, words just cannot express what you are feeling and all you can do is look into his eyes across the couch and instantly just KNOW…

When Shams and Rumi met, they locked themselves up in a room for 40 Days discussing each Rule but with FREQUENT moments of silence. They shared these simple yet profound moments of just BEING, of existing, of dancing within each other’s energy. Does it get any more romantic than that?  Of basking in the sweet silence of pure Love…

Rule 6

“Loneliness and solitude are two different things. When you are lonely, it is easy to delude yourself into believing that you are on the right path. Solitude is better for us, as it means being alone without feeling lonely. But eventually it is the best to find a person who will be your mirror. Remember only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you.”

Day 6

Oh dear ones, this is a tuffie for sure for lovers!

SO many people spend so much time longing and feeling lonely and wanting love. In our desperation we delude ourselves and lower our vibration and, coincidentally/synchronistically only attract more loneliness by looking for love in ALL the WRONG places. However, if we can turn it around, and embrace SOLITUDE, (remember my Sacred Solitude meditation?) we then flip our vibration over, and begin attracting joy, acceptance, and even, oh yes, even optimism and self-love. When we embrace all of these and start emanating this frequency, love then, pure love, not the kind of “love” you can find on Grindr or on other online hook-up sites, but true, pure unconditional love will find us when we aren’t even looking for it!

And then dear ones, and then when that someone does find us, or if conversely we run into them, they will be a person who reflects all that we are and more. They will be a person of like or similar vibration who will allow us to learn and grow and live and oh, yes, LOVE with all our divine Being- capitol B. They will also be a mirror, like Shams and Rumi who will push us to look at ourselves deeply, honestly, and compassionately. It will be someone who will force up our trauma, and be there at our side when we confront it, our morals, our values, and yes, even our life’s path. That is when you will know it is real. Likewise, that is when you know it is not real when someone tries to not push you to accept what it is you have done, but rather who tries to use it against you and force shame/blame upon you. A true lover does not do this. A true lover accepts, with all their heart. A true lover is smart, a true lover is kind, and a true lover is important. Important for our growth as human beings, and important for our growth as Beings of Spirit, and as Beings of Love…

And if you don’t want love dear one, if you want the untrue lovers of the world, if you want the Grindrs and what-have-yous, then now is the time to figure out why, dig up that trauma, look at it, accept it, grow from it, and Break. Down. Those. Walls.

your task is not to seek for love

Rule 7

“Whatever happens in your life, no matter how troubling things might seem, do not enter the neighbourhood of despair. Even when all doors remain closed, God will open up a new path only for you. Be thankful! It is easy to be thankful when all is well. A Sufi is thankful not only for what he has been given but also for all that he has been denied.”

Day 7

Whatever happens in your life, beloveds, no matter how troubling things might seem, promise me that you will not completely lose hope. No matter how tragic, horrific, traumatic, there is always a silver lining. We may not be able to see it, but it is there. Sometimes great awakenings necessitate periodic pain and loss. Sometimes, oh, sometimes, that pain is just a gift in disguise. If embraced, that loss can be transformed into incredible creative output. With retrospect we are able to already see, and be grateful for those moments because they pushed us forward, however hard, and made us who we are today.

We can all look back and laugh at the partners of our past, and laugh and laugh some more. We can shake our heads and see how foolish we may have been, but we respect those decisions we made, and we accept our progress on Life’s path of Love. We remember the pain, but we no longer are prisoners of that self-torture. We can let it go with compassion and humility and wisdom, and see what our lives would have been like if we stayed. How crazy of a life would that have been, eh?

The point here is to yes, grieve for your troubles, but to not allow those troubles to pull you down into the abyss of hopelessness. In life, there are few things for certain, but one that is is that everything happens for a reason and another still is that where there is love there is always hope.
Hold on to your love, hold on to your light, hold on to your hope. Let it comfort you in times of loss. And with true courage of embraced vulnerability, you will be able to step out of that new door and into a world with unlimited potential for the life you want to live filled with the glory and the healing wonders of Love…

Rule 8

“Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to look at the end of a process. What does patience mean? It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn. Impatience means to be shortsighted as to not be able to see the outcome. The lovers of God never run out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full.”

Day 8

With Love comes great Patience. Yes, again, with a capital-P.

Sometimes in the midst of frustration, and especially in this modern society of instant gratification, we forget about being patient and say or do things out of some spoiled child-like wounded mentality. Or worse still is that Being in this vibration of impatience, we fail to see the beauty that comes right along with the thorn on the same stem.

Sometimes beloveds, we can’t always get the things we want right away from a lover. Sometimes we have to wait. Sometimes we have to wait for them to feel comfortable and safe enough to bloom in front of us. And sometimes, a love story isn’t all that perfect, and there’s a shocker! We are all told growing up that the perfect relationship is a fairy tale happy ending, but truth is dearies, that we never really know the full story that led to that happy ending, nor are we shown what has to be done to maintain it once you get there. But what is told is that the lovers must overcome the obstacles set before them in order to get there.

With patience they survive and because both have the ability to look at the big picture, they do not suffer the death-like sleep, dragons and trolls (amongst other haters), nor do they quietly suffer their own inner demons. They accept their own journey towards each other, however bumpy it may be because they have the wisdom to realize that life sometimes throws us curve-balls, and things don’t always work out the way we expect them to. They have the capacity to accept what comes their way not with anger but with compassion. For theirs is a Love story still in the making because no true Love stories truly end…

Rule 9

“East, west, south, or north makes little difference. No matter what your destination, just be sure to make every journey a journey within. If you travel within, you’ll travel the whole wide world and beyond.”

Day 9

What harm can come from embarking on an inner journey towards Love? Sure, anticipate the hardships ahead, but don’t allow it to worry you. Whatever fate awaits you, welcome it. Accept the thorn with the rose. Accept your past trauma, move past it, and embark on a deeper journey still into the vastness of your Soul. Because there within you live worlds upon worlds.

No matter where you go in this lifetime, walk with the footsteps of Love. Let your Love be the compass of your fate and a lantern in the darkness. Let it be your lighthouse on the cliffs of despair, and once you break through the dark, let it guide you Home.


Rule 10

“The midwife knows that when there is no pain, the way for the baby cannot be opened and the mother cannot give birth. Likewise, for a new self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as clay needs to go through intense heat to become strong, Love can only be perfected in pain.”

Day 10

Hmmm…”Love can only be perfected in pain.” 
I don’t think Shams is trying to say we should endure abuse from anyone in order to gain perfect relationships nor to experience perfect Love. (Although once you do encounter this in a relationship it will change you and quite possibly even lead you to realize what is and most certainly IS NOT Love.)

Here is the unspoken truth beloveds, in the process of finding Love, we often discover Pain. Capital- P. lol.

In their quest, many go through let-down after let-down. Heartbreak after heartbreak. A continuous cycle, over and over again. And why is that? Is it perhaps because you keep repeating the same ingrained/learned behaviour? Do you keep falling for the same type of person just in another disguise/mask? Or are you in fact the one wearing the disguise/mask?

The Pain found in Love can be incredibly transformative. It is a pain that breaks down our misconceptions about Self and the world around us. It is a pain that rips at our long established ideas of what a perfect relationship/house/job/etc. looks like. In Love there is this paradox. The paradox of change, of life/death/rebirth. There is the saying that “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” but I would venture farther and say that “what doesn’t kill you, doesn’t kill you all the way. It will leave you bleeding, bruised, and worse for wear; but it will make your Spirit stronger. It will make your heart stronger… if you let it. It is after all your choice. You can let it break you, or you can rise like the phoenix from the ashes.” It’s a lot like Rule 4, “treasures are hidden among ruins. A broken heart hides treasures.”

Perhaps Beloveds, some of us NEED hardship, heartbreak, and the pain that comes from loss in order to grow. In order to make that next step closer towards enlightenment, towards consciousness, towards empathy, and yes, towards Love. I do not know your karma. Nor do I know your level of consciousness. But what I do know is that there are people who find the love of their life far quicker than others. And there are also those that when they find the love of their life, don’t even know it at the time. It’s not to say that there does not exist pain or hardship once you’ve found that someone. But at least you will have each other, unconditionally, to pull each other through, and even if they are the reason you are in Pain. Because even though there may be that issue, underneath it all, there is still that Love, and you will have changed each other, for the better. Because as Rumi says, “the cure for the pain is the pain,” because “the wound is the place where the Light enters you,” and “through Love all Pain will turn to medicine.”

we must speak up for those around us who are too afraid and who have temporarily surrendered their dignity. “One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.” ― Michael J. Fox
Janet, I LOVE LOVE LOVE everything you posted! Its so true that there will be times where loved ones suffer, and we with all our great love and empathy for them, feel their pain, because it is so hard to watch them endure. But endure they will, with us holding their hand…and their hearts.

Rule 11

“The quest for love changes us. There is no seeker among those who search for love who has not matured on the way. The moment you start looking for love, you start to change within and without.”

Day 11

Can you feel that your journey towards love is already changing you, and it hasn’t even started yet Beloveds?

We are on Day 11, and you may have already hit some majour Love barriers, and torn them down, and perhaps have built in beautiful new windows/doors, or have just left the field wide open for the Winds of Love to blow freely. We have reexamined our pathology and behaviour, and hopefully are now making steps towards seeking mature love.

Do you not agree? That this process is helping you in some way? That there is a great change taking place? Have you started noticing that your relationships with others have improved, and that you no longer tolerate superficiality? Are you finding yourself becoming more true to yourself, that there is an awakening coming?

When we open ourselves up to Love, we receive it and see it all around us. It in effect, seeks us.

By Finding, Activating, and Expressing our Love, we mature, and begin to know that, today, this day, more than ever, love is our essential nature. It is more than an emotion—love is who we truly are. When we shift our orientation from receiving love to being Love, and giving Love—everything changes. It matures us into higher Love consciousness/awareness, into the realms of Eros, Aphrodite, and Kwan Yin, which allows us again to rise above adversity and embrace the world with warm unconditional love and a melting heart.

Because what we seek is already within us, and with a mature awareness now, we can see and accept that wholeheartedly.

A few weeks ago in meditation, I was asked, “what melts your heart?”

Today would be a good day to ask the same of yourself.

What actions, moments, sights, experiences, melt your heart?

NOT Who, but what?

Rumi tells us “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself you have built against it” because, “what you are seeking is also seeking you,” and how the hell is it supposed to find You, if you are hiding my Beloved behind a fortress with barbed wire, a moat of sharks, and heat-seeking missiles?

Sunshine. Flowing water. Walking on green grass. The smell of rain. Helping others. Poetry. Art. Tea. Meaningful conversation. The song of a purring cat. A warm fire in the heart of winter. These are the things that melt my heart.

Rule 12

“There are more fake gurus and false teachers in this world than the number of stars in the visible universe. Don’t confuse power-driven, self-centered people with true mentors. A genuine spiritual master will not direct your attention to himself or herself and will not expect absolute obedience or utter admiration from you, but instead will help you to appreciate and admire your inner self. True mentors are as transparent as glass. They let the light of God pass through them.”

Day 12

As a teacher, this rule really hits home for me. I always try to be an open book for people, and some even say that it is hard for me to accept a compliment. I am only here to inspire and help those that stumble upon my path (or I their’s), and try my best to show people that they too can teach if they are so inclined because in teaching comes great learning. I don’t claim to have all the answers, nor would I want them. Life would be very boring indeed if that were the case. Can you imagine if you knew everything? And had all the answers? There would be nothing NEW to learn, and that sounds more like academic ignorance than mastery.

As a teacher I have a duty to also be a student, and also a student of nature and of my students/friends/lover. They teach me incredible things every day, with their circumstances, with their unique energies and personalities. Likewise, I have had teachers/students who have been too rough around the edges lets say. And that’s fine. I chose to walk away from such energies/people, and found genuine people who were/are true to themselves, who are human, who yes, make mistakes, but ultimately they learn from them. They are my true mentors.

With them I share a true spiritual bond, that is life lasting and even perhaps into death. There is a saying that we are placed on a path to discover our Soul Tribe. A few of my students have been such people, but I like to say and make a point of saying that it has happened more so for me being a student of theirs, rather than the other way around.

We are all teachers/students in our own right. Every person we come into contact with shows us another lesson to be learned. I don’t expect much from my students/clients/friends. Only Love, that respectful love and honour that comes naturally between two people working together towards a common goal.

And, here, isn’t that goal Love?

You could even go a layer deeper here with this one, and consider it’s application with the Inner Self as Teacher/Guru. From this vantage we can then make decisions not based from false ego or from a place of vanity, greed, or thirst for power or clout, but from a place of Love. Self-love. A Love that does not care what anyone else thinks, because life is ultimately OUR path to walk, no one else’s.

We can find outer teachers/mentors, and integrate the teachings that resonate with our innate Being, and toss away the teachings that don’t. On the spiritual path, or on any path for that matter, we cannot be too timid, for that would be a path filled with fear. Instead we must listen to our own Higher Selves, not be afraid to not conform to someone’s else’s or society’s expectations, to rustle some feathers, and follow our own authentic hearts that will help us along a life’s path filled with Love. Like Rumi said, “I have been a seeker and I still am, but I stopped asking the books and the stars. I started listening to the teaching of my Soul.”


Rule 13

“Try not to resist the changes, which come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?”

Day 13

How might you let life live through you Beloveds?

When it comes to change, we can either go with the flow, or fight against it. This is easier when the change is something that we perceive as “good” or “better” or “a muchly needed change.” We can make excuses, but when it is some kind of change that we perceive as negative, like a flood, we are swept up in grief and denial and nonacceptance.

That is when the false ego cries out in mourning for the way things have “always” been. Our reality is shaken and the sky seems to be falling. In these moments, what is helpful to do is observe your fear and grieve for the old ways and look towards the new with curiosity and Love.

We can mature and so look at this change not with resistance but perhaps even with a helping hand. The best way to overcome your fears, is to jump right in and make your own mark on the canvas of change. Take the creative inspiration that arises and go with it. How are you to know that what comes from this won’t indeed be better, or worse? Non-attachment to outcome in this life is essential if you are to let your Love flourish and grow. Because nothing is ever set in stone, things change, people change. Our jobs, our careers, our automobiles, our tastes. The places we live. The places we visit. The people we meet. We eventually have to say goodbye either with a smile or a tear (or even both) to each and every one of them. Along this journey we are constantly evolving and changing, it is only madness that wishes to keep us stale and in stasis. Life leads us to death, and death leads us towards rebirth.

Life is organic, and as such deserves a chance. You deserve a chance.

By not passively letting things pass us by, but rather by acknowledging the change, accepting it with forbearance, and embracing it with compassion, changes us for the better. Don’t you think?

Love and life molds us, as we mold life and Love.

It is a symbiotic relationship this world and us. And as much as it is difficult at times, we must move with grace, dance with synchronicity, and weave our paths towards the beat of the drum of our hearts.

Towards what? Who knows? But isn’t that the WHOLE point? To Love and Love still. To live and Live still. To change and Change still. No matter the obstacle or adversity. To confront the storm of our fear, and walk through with courage, strong vulnerability, and yes, of course, with Love as our mantle.

Armed with these weapons of spirit we can let the things that need be let go of in order to thrive. With these also we are able to see a better future for ourselves, for the planet, and for our loved ones. Do not worry for with every change, there is a Light there within you that will guide you along your way. Trust. Have faith. This too shall pass. A world with unlimited possibly awaits you. Go! Be the change you wish to see in the world! Go now, beloved. Go. Embrace your change. Open your heart. Let the essence of life fill you. FEEL your strength and adaptability. Open your wings, and FLY…

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. To change, a person must face the dragon of his appetites with another dragon, the life-energy of the soul.” ― Rumi

Rule 14

“God is busy with the completion of your work, both outwardly and inwardly. He is fully occupied with you. Every human being is a work in progress that is slowly but inexorably moving toward perfection. We are each an unfinished work of art both waiting and striving to be completed. God deals with each of us separately because humanity is fine art of skilled penmanship where every single dot is equally important for the entire picture.”

Day 14

What do you feel about his rule? Do you believe you are a work of art in the process? Striving towards completion?

Art has always been very important to me, and as such I have always looked at my life as a work of art in the process. There are times where I feel the touch of the Divine stroking my shoulder as I walk along a forest path, or sculpting my physique during yoga. My connection with the Divine is a very personal relationship where every day, every new entry into my journal is another paragraph in my Book of Life.

Rule 15

“It’s easy to love a perfect God, unblemished and infallible that He is. What is far more difficult is to love fellow human beings with all their imperfections and defects. Remember, one can only know what one is capable of loving. There is no wisdom without love. Unless we learn to love God’s creation, we can neither truly love nor truly know God.”

Day 15

“Treat everyone you meet like God in drag.” – Ram Dass

One can only know what one is capable of loving. Ooph… Isnt that the deep stuff?
It can be so hard to love the bigoted and ignorant values/imperfections of others. But love is Love. It may seem too altruistic but this is what unconditional love is. It doesnt mean you agree with their opinions. It just means you rise above them and accept them for what they are.

It is hard and yes challenging. But we all possess the ability.

We can and we must.

man must rise above the Earth

Rule 16

“Real faith is the one inside. The rest simply washes off. There is only one type of dirt that cannot be cleansed with pure water, and that is the stain of hatred and bigotry contaminating the soul. You can purify your body through abstinence and fasting, but only love will purify your heart.”

Day 16

Today seems to be a day for detoxing. It was a long weekend with more than enough cheers and celebrations, and even today, I am trying to digi detox since my phone is MIA.

So let us go a bit further after showering, and brushing our teeth, and drinking more coconut water and eating a holistic breakfast. So let us go a bit further inside ourselves into the realms of the heart. Let us go Into the realms of Love.

Our faith in humanity, God, the Universe, even in ourselves and each other, lives in the heart. Let us ask ourselves, “Do I say ‘I hate’ a bit too much?” Do you “hate,” really truly HATE certain things? Hate is a harsh word. To hate is to loathe, detest, despise, dislike, abhor, execrate.

And even a bigger question, are you a bigot? A chauvinist, partisan, sectarian; racist, sexist, homophobe, dogmatist, jingoist?

Yesterday we talked about loving unconditionally every Being, regardless of ideology. This even requires loving ourselves (remember those other rules, eh?)

If you wish to purge yourself of these qualities, then it is time to do so. Today. Now. With Love. You can abstain from saying hateful things. You can hold back. But your opinions/feelings remain the same. You can even punish yourself to “make up” for what you have done/said. But truly…the only real way is to purify your heart. Find the reason for your hatred/bigotry, and ask yourself, “Why?”

Go out. Lay in the hammock. Ask yourself the hard questions. The reasons for your own pathology. Is it just because you don’t know any better? Were you taught to be that way? Did someone do unto you an unmentionable act? Misconceptions are everywhere in our society. No Jim, Sarah, or Hank are the same, so why treat them as such? No Christian, Jew, or Muslim are the same, so why treat them all the same way? To treat an entire group of people based on some superficial label is madness. It is not Love. No person, no animal, no food is the same. No one and no thing is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes based on fear.

It’s time to let go. It is time to let in the light. It is time to see one another. It is time to have the courage to be vulnerable.

Today, it is time to open your heart, have faith, and shower yourself with Love.

Rule 17

“The whole universe is contained within a single human being-you. Everything that you see around, including the things that you might not be fond of and even the people you despise or abhor, is present within you in varying degrees. Therefore, do not look for Sheitan (Evil) outside yourself either. The devil is not an extraordinary force that attacks from without. It is an ordinary voice within. If you set to know yourself fully, facing with honesty and hardness.”

Day 17

We all possess incredible potential for good or for evil. It is up to us, with our actions, with our words, with our hearts to step along the paths of love or fear.

We must look within, ask ourselves the hard questions and truly learn to KNOW OURSELVES. With awareness we will be able to choose our path. It is up to you.

I can sit here and pretend to be all high and mighty, and be an example of good and of Love, but really Life needs balance. We all make mistakes, we are neither all good nor all evil. We simply ARE. We exist and we exist to fulfill our passions in life.

If you want to choose to twist this in your favour for evil. So be it. But, I think I know you all enough to know that this is not the case.

Rule 18

“If you want to change the ways others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself, fully and sincerely, there is no other way you can be loved. Once you achieve that stage, however, be thankful for every thorn that others might throw at you. It is a sign that you will soon be showered in roses.”

Day 18

There is a saying that you must show people how to love you by first loving yourself. Show them by setting an example of yourself. Shower yourself with Love and Light, because with the Law of Attraction like attracts like. (Remember that other rule?)

By loving ourselves fully and wholeheartedly, we can forgive ourselves of our past mistakes and move on the vibration of unconditional love for ourselves and all others. If we abuse ourselves, if we neglect our talents, our light; it will allow others the opportunity to do so as well.

Beloveds, I give you permission. No, the whole WORLD and UNIVERSE gives you permission to Love your Self. To cherish your Self. To nurture your Self. To protect your Self. To open your heart and to treat your Self with kindness, compassion, and honour.

It gives you permission to shower your Self with roses…


Rule 19

“Fret not where the road will take you. Instead concentrate on the first step. That is the hardest part and that is what you are responsible for. Once you take that step let everything do what it naturally does and the rest will follow. Don’t go with the flow. Be the flow.”

Day 19

When we make changes or wish to move forward with our lives, that first step is always the hardest. With it often comes all of the mental expectations of what will rise from that first step instead of just the act of taking it.

Don’t worry so much my Beloveds. Don’t fret.

The road ahead of you is filled with many wonders to discover along with many potholes too. There will always be bumps in the road. But if you really want to go, go for the better. If you really want to change, change for the better. Don’t worry so much about the details.

Follow your heart, even if that heart is torn between two things… Often when we think we have to choose between two things, we don’t see that we can actually find a way to do both. That if they are mutually of the heart that it finds a way. And then there are things that we do need to choose between, and that fall away. If you really do listen to your heart, you will know what to do.

If you really listen you will Know, capital- K, that you needn’t just go along with things as they are… You will Know that YOU ARE the mover and creator of your own reality. We truly can have it all if we put in our ALL. We can have the lives we wish to have, with passion, and drive, and authenticity, and of course, as always… with LOVE.

Rule 20

“We were all created in His image, and yet we were each created different and unique. No two people are alike. No hearts beat to the same rhythm. If God had wanted everyone to be the same, He would have made it so. Therefore, disrespecting differences and imposing your thoughts on others is an amount to disrespecting God’s holy scheme.”

Day 20

Gender pronouns aside, I think we can all grasp what Shams is saying here.

We were all created in a unique mess of millions upon millions of years of evolved DNA from our genetic parents, and eons upon eons of intelligent transformation from the heavens. As such, we are all beautiful expressions of that transformation. We each possess a great amount of differences some more pleasant than others. But regardless of our physical appearances of heritage, or mental appearances of culture, our spirits are all of the Divine. Biodiversity is the natural order of nature.

It is the bi-product of a good intelligent design. That is why polyculture/permaculture is so important, because it brings back the natural flow of things. If the powers that be wanted everything and everyone to be planted in straight rows forests would be so. But that is not the case.

If the powers that be wanted everyone to look the same, even though this is genetically impossible outside of cloning, that would be the norm. But this is not so. If every being on this planet was supposed to not think for themselves, or were supposed to think the same things, vote for the same politicals, eat the same foods, wear the same types of clothing, it would be so. But this is not the case.

So… by imposing your views of voting, eating, living, loving onto others is against the laws of nature. By disrespecting someone else’s right to their own opinion and expression, we are in fact going against the laws of nature… or if you like, the laws of God/dess, the Great Spirit, the Grand Design, etc. etc.

We can all be examples sure, but to be egotistical about it is not the way.
We can offer our knowledge of course, but we mustn’t spoon-feed people.
Because then, we would become just as heinous as those others we ourselves scoff at. Which isn’t very loving is it?

To allow others to flourish in their own way, without propaganda, demagogy, or manipulation is the way of the Universe. To Love and to Love all others is the way of the Cosmos. Remember those other rules?

So we extend the courtesy to others that we ourselves would want to have. Can you imagine, if we lived in a society where everyone lived amongst one another, and allowed each citizen to develop their own way of Loving? Of Living? Of expressing their Divine Spirit? It’s not to say that trends would not emerge, we are bound by cultural connection as a species. But imagine… worlds coming together. People coming together. With all their differences.

It would be a beautiful melting pot of Respect, and yes, Love…

Rule 21

“When a true lover of God goes into a tavern, the tavern becomes his chamber of prayer, but when a wine bibber goes into the same chamber, it becomes his tavern. In everything we do, it is our hearts that make the difference, not our outer appearance. Sufis do not judge other people on how they look or who they are. When a Sufi stares at someone, he keeps both eyes closed instead opens a third eye – the eye that sees the inner realm.”

Day 21

Mmm…this one would have been very hard for me 3 months ago.

I had a serious moral issue with strip-clubs, and actually going to them. Especially, the all nude kind. Now, I have been to one before, and even though it was only a topless one, it still unnerved me at the time. However, I grew to like the girls there and see them for who they were: humans with a Divine spirit. Granted, the onlookers were very rough around the edges, and the only reason I went was because a group of us were visiting another friend who was DJing. Long story short, after a while everything fell away, because I wasn’t there for sexual gratification nor for any other back alley deal.

We all make assumptions with people. Even those people we perceive as “good” or “clean” or “healthy” or “kind.” We never truly know the person under neath the exterior personae/masks that they give off. However, if we do as Shams here says, and close our eyes in order to see with the third one, we can look and see and intuit other’s deeper selves. We can see the pain of misfortune. We can see the suffering of a broken heart. We can see the mean “prick”/”bitch” at work is actually a kind hearted volunteer at the local Homeless Shelter on weekends.

No matter where we go, we can go with a light and Love for all. In the book, Shams frequently visits a prostitute at a brothel just to talk and be a friend. Eventually, she musters up the courage to leave.

We all can look on certain establishments and people with disdain. We on the spiritual path may have a tendency sometimes to judge others based on some higher moral and “less” ignorant ground. Ha! See the irony my beloveds?

Granted, we have and will have all those moments where our spirituality/morals/values are challenged. We will and probably already have had those moments where we will worry what other people think of us if we do this, or go there, or befriend this one or that one.

The truth in this Rule is that none of that matters. Only the heart and soul of the person, and of course, the heart and soul of you Beloved.

If you want to go to a bar/brothel/strip club, go. Experience it. Look around. Ask yourself why you really want to go. Are you in a committed relationship and are sexually frustrated, or is it that you are just a cheat? Are you depressed, and want to drink your feelings, or do you just want to have a good time with friends whilst keeping an even head? Do you just crave company so much that you will go anywhere to find “5-minutes of heaven?” Are you looking to “save” people, or do you just want to be the light in the darkness?

If you feel dirty just by being there is it just because “society” has told you to feel that way, or is it because the people really are energetically low? Is it because your religion tells you it is a sin, or is it just because you are uncomfortable with your own sexuality? Is it because you just don’t like the environment, or is it that it is the “bad” section of town? Is it that you just don’t want to pick up on any negative energies which tend to migrate there, or is it that you are just afraid?

Ask, and find your real answers my friends. Ask, and have faith beloveds. Have heart. And of course, have LOVE.


Rule 22

“Life is a temporary loan and this world is nothing but a sketchy imitation of Reality. Only children would mistake a toy for the real thing. And yet human beings either become infatuated with the toy or disrespectfully break it and throw it aside. In this life stay away from all kinds of extremities, for they will destroy your inner balance. Sufis do not go to extremes. A Sufi always remains mild and moderate.”

Day 22

This was a hard rule to not decipher literally. Where one could go and discuss the materialistic drive and aspects of society and how the craving for more and more could be talked about in length; I wanted to relate this rule more directly with love.

Life is fragile and short lived. Which is why to live every day with love in your heart for yourself and others is so important. Do any of us truly want to die with fear/hatred in our hearts as we pass on into the ether?

The world as we know it with all its restrictions and possibilities can be a complicated and confusing place. Where the “you should date this one not that one, marry this one because it looks better” exists. Where society’s vanity dictates and shapes our idea of what it means to be in a relationship, and what the “perfect” guy/girl looks like and acts like.Due to these false perceptions, as children we grow up learning to ingrain these into our psyches. Then as rebellious teens, when we first begin to challenge reality, we either overcome these false notions and follow our dreams or sink deeper into the act. And then we wonder later on in life why we cant find someone, or why love wasnt what we thought it was, or ask “Where the hell did we go wrong?!”

We use people as toys and have fun for the time being, but only so long as the faux remains “perfect” in that it does and acts as we want it to, and when it doesnt…oh snap… when that person no longer acts as our arm candy or as our girl/boytoy, or doesnt live up to our superficial expectations, oh no! Time to throw it away…instead of sitting with yourself and Really Knowing and Being in Your Being, and not within the fake reality that is around us and restricts us from true Soul and true authentic Love and Life.

Absent mindedly, and superficially, going from relationship to relationship, ignorant to your own heart’s voice is not only childish, it is cruel my beloveds. It is cruel to not only other hearts, but it is also cruel to your own in the process.

Balancing our hearts with our egos is one of the hardest challenges when it comes to love and Loving. Frantically going back and forth, commiting self sabotage against love in the effort to appease society, our families, our friends, the Pope, etc. does nothing to make us truly happy.

By finding peace and Love within us, we can stop running and stop throwing away toys altogether, and open ourselves up to the “real thing.” Because it IS POSSIBLE BELOVEDS. It is possible.

Rule 23

“The human being has a unique place among God’s creation. “I breathed into him of My Spirit,” God says. Each and every one of us without exception is designed to be God’s delegate on earth. Ask yourself, just how often do you behave like a delegate, if you ever do so? Remember, it fells upon each of us to discover the divine spirit inside and live by it.”

Day 23

Someone recently told me a very moving story about Jehovah’s Witnesses who came to visit her one day and she invited them on the porch. Long story short my friend replied to them, “Oh, it’s okay. I AM God, but don’t worry, so are you. You just don’t know it yet.”

We are all “God” my friends. We are each of the Divine. We each have the breath of the Universal Spirit inside of us. It is a part of every cell in our bodies. And as such, it is up to us to realize this, and live. To realize this, and Love. To realize that we each are here for the furthering growth of each other and our Selves, and in this way we must accept it and embrace that we are all Peaceful Warriors and delegates of the Cosmos. We must all embrace our light and love, and be true to ourselves, and be true to our spirit.

It’s that simple. It’s what all of these Rules are trying to tell us. To live lovingly and wholeheartedly and in tune with our spirits and hearts. To emanate that light that we have inside of us, and live by our own unique set of rules based on compassion without the restrictions and indoctrination of society and ego.

To live a life worth living and to live a life worth loving by being true to oneself.

So my beloveds, how do you behave like a delegate of the stars? Like an ambassador of the heart? Like an emissary of the Divine? How do you represent?

Rule 24

“Hell is in the here and now. So is heaven. Quit worrying about hell or dreaming about heaven, as they are both present inside this very moment. Every time we fall in love, we ascend to heaven. Every time we hate, envy or fight someone we tumble straight into the fires of hell.”

Day 24

Beloveds we must all live in the Now. At this moment, do you choose to walk in your personal heaven, or in your personal hell?

It doesn’t sound possible. But, It. Is. That. Easy.

I really like this one, because it is so to the point. As with some of the other rules, Shams reminds us yet again that we have the power to create our own realities. It may be a struggle, but we must look at Resistance as a natural force of nature that must be overcome in order to reach our potential for Love.


Rule 25

“Each and every reader comprehends the Holy Qur’an on a different level of tandem with the depth of his understanding. There are four levels of insight. The first level is the outer meaning and it is the one that the majority of the people are content with. Next is the Batin – the inner level. Third, there is the inner of the inner. And the fourth level is so deep it cannot be put into words and is therefore bound to remain indescribable.”

Day 25

Whether it be the Qur’an, the Holy Bible, the Torah, the Vedas, the Constitution, the Lord of the Rings, or any other Holy Text, we each can have a different interpretation. That is why so many have used them in the past to substantiate their bigotry, hatred, ideology, and “holy” wars.

But, just like these texts these Rules each have a different depth of meaning.

#1. There is the direct verbatim translation. The words just as they are.
#2. The other translations in words not customary. Where “witch” actually means “murderer.” Funny how in different times of power, different meanings popped up.
#3. The metaphor behind what is actually being said. The moral of the passage. The inner of the inner. The deep wisdom and Truth only known by the whispers of the winds, the Cosmos, and the Ancestors. The meaning that, perhaps with time and enough study and experience we too will be able to learn.
#4. And, finally, there is the meaning that only the original writer of the text can tell us. The meaning at its core. The meaning of the Divine. The meaning that, perhaps we will never know. Or perhaps the meaning that is too beautiful to even explain in words. It is the meaning and Truth of the Truth that can only be experienced from the higher vibration of the heart, and yes, of the Divine Enlightenment that is Love.

If we work from our hearts, and learn to COEXIST and grasp the Truth that all these spiritual texts say the same thing: to Love and let Love; we will be that much closer to enlightenment, to a better world beyond cultural separation and misunderstanding. Where all will speak the language of Love.

Day 26
Beloveds, we are still in mercury retrogade and you know what that means. These next two rules deal directly with communication, and specifically what we say and put out into the universe. Also, today marks a new day, a NEW Moon. For the next day or so we will be in the new moon where we all feel vulnerable. So hold true to your heart strings beloveds. Feel what must be felt, be patient, and know that this too shall pass.

Rule 26

“The universe is one being. Everything and everyone is interconnected through an invisible web of stories. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are all in a silent conversation. Do no harm. Practice compassion. And do not gossip behind anyone’s back – not even a seemingly innocent remark! The words that come out of our mouths do not vanish but are perpetually stored in infinite space and they will come back to us in due time. One man’s pain will hurt us all. One man’s joy will make everyone smile.”

It’s funny, I was having a conversation about this very thing last night. Energy and how we are all connected, especially through our words. Our words, our body language, our spirit ALL permeate the world around us. Our words and sometimes even our simple unspoken behaviour affects those especially close to us.

We all communicate on muktiple levels, the spoken and unspoken. Some of us are more in touch with this intuitive side than others. Some just seem to pickup on things without even being told. Regardless of our current abilities, we can all control the ill will we put out into the world.

We can choose to not make fun of people, we can all choose to not call people, “retarded, cunts, or wetbacks.” We can control our thoughts in this same way by being less judgemental and more understanding. We dont always have to like people, but what we shouldnt do is throw around hate in our absentmindedness.

We can control this by opening our hearts.

What comes around goes around. And yes Beloved, karma can be a bitch. Lol. But it can also be a kind gesture or word. Sometimes the truth does hurt but we neednt be cruel with that delicacy.

By opening our hearts, both inner and outer compassionate communucation can flourish this world and this reality.

Day 27
Beloveds after last night’s meditation (if you participated) I had incredible dreams where I saved my childhood self from drowning and falling over a waterfall. I looked into those eyes that used to be mine, and I am swept up in blessed nostalgia this morning. I was always a child that was the brunt of rumour and bullying. However, I never, even as a child, wished others ill will. I instinctively knew that yes, two-wrongs most certainly DO-NOT make a right. Instead, I saw their own inner turmoil reflected back at me, just as I lived in an abusive rural home. I always knew it would SOMEHOW, SOME DAY right itself. That some day, their hearts would be turned towards Like and Love. And guess what? They did. Some of my childhood tormentors turned out to be some of my closest friends in high school/college. Was this because I prayed for them, like the good catholic I used to be? Or was it because I trusted in the Universe? Or was it both?

This brings us to today’s rule:

Rule 27
“Whatever you speak, good or evil, will somehow come back to you. Therefore, if there is someone who harbours ill thoughts about you, saying similarly bad things about him will only make matters worse. You will be locked in a vicious circle of malevolent energy. Instead for forty days and nights say and think nice things about that person. Everything will be different at the end of 40 days, because you will be different inside.”

Try it. For the next forty days give compliments to your foes. Think and imagine good things going their way. Instead of responding with anger or hostility, or victimization, respond with Love. It does no good to continue the cycle of hate/fear. Let me know about the progress. It’s challenge time!


Day 28
There is a power and serenity with living in the present moment. By coming back to the Now, we cut the ropes of deadlines and the chains of stress that go along with them. We can escape the rush rush rush mentality that so many of us Americans live by, and come back to a more tranquil mindset.

Rule 28
“The past is an interpretation. The future is an illusion. The world does not move through time as if it were a straight line, proceeding from the past to the future. Instead time moves through and within us, in endless spirals. Eternity does not mean infinite time, but simply timelessness. If you want to experience eternal illumination, put the past and the future out of your mind and remain within the present moment.”

If you havn’t had the chance yet my friends, read Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now.”

It will blow your mind, and blow open your heart center.

This Rule has gotten me through much this past month or so. There is much transition we all go through, and by staying grounded in the present moment, in the Now, we can find the strength we require for getting through it all with grace.

Whatsmore, applying this rule to Love and relationships offers us great hope. By remembering the past is past and was but our own interpretation, we can take ownership of that interpretation. Also, by realizing that our futures, with all our beautiful hopes and dreams, is also an interpretation in the making we can accept it as just what it is: an illusion however fantastic.

By accepting that time is not so linear as we have been taught, we can grasp that all moments of time are connected and can paradoxically be accessed. We can reach out into the void space of the Cosmos, travel to the origins of time and life itself, and embrace not only enlightenment of the Spirit, but simultaneously embrace the timelessness of a Love so pure it knows no bounds, no restrictions, and no barriers.

Ironically, it may take “time” to get there, but when we do, oh- when we do. We will have a Love that is stronger, more enriched, and we will be able to begin again from where we last said farewell to Love. As if no time passed at all, we can touch and kiss the timeless.

Day 29
I sit here Beloveds overlooking my grandparents lily pond in the Adirondack Mountains. I have been walking barefooted for the last two days, and have found a deep sense of grounding energy. It is always a comfort returning here, to this small village of Chateaugay, but the woods and forests and sky are all so expansive it doesn’t seem so small at all. As I woke up, I taught my Gods Son how to show gratitude for all that is and how to take responsibility for his actions. Actively participating with Spirit has always been part of my path, and my tool, my instrument is my heart.

Rule 29
“Destiny doesn’t mean that your life has been strictly predetermined. Therefore, to live everything to the fate and to not actively contribute to the music of the universe is a sign of sheer ignorance. The music of the universe is all pervading and it is composed on 40 different levels. Your destiny is the level where you play your tune. You might not change your instrument but how well to play is entirely in your hands.”

Destiny. Fate. What do these words mean to you Beloved? I have always been a firm believer that we each make our own destinies. And as time has gone on, I still in part believe this. We each cocreate our reality with the Universe, with all that is. We weave it. Each of us creating this world filled with hopes and dreams and personal legends to be explored.

What gets me though is when people apathetically sit back and expect the world to help them without helping back. If you remove yourself, and all personal responsibly therein, how can you expect or intellectualize results? If you remove your tool/instrument, if you refuse to play your tune, no one, especially destiny, will be able to fully hear your plea.

In relationships, when lovers absentmindedly say, “if it is meant to be it will be,” and just walk away without any further contact is not only ignorant but cruel. They have broken one of the key rules of hope, even though their hearts are still beating for eachother. It is the giving into hollywood fantasy, because Beloveds how will it “ever be” if you never sing again to eachother. Do they expect the universe to just drop you on top of eachother again 10-20 years down the road? I think you could see the frivilous nature of such a lover.

We do however each have talents and a purpose in this world. It is up to each of us to remember it, to actively play our instruments with eachother, especially those we love. But we must go out there and find it and use it! You dont always have to be alone when you discover it, but it is yours and yours alone. Even business partners have different sheet music to play, and dance partners must take their own steps.

As long as we each play from our hearts completely, being patient with one another, waiting for each to tune up, and not giving into Resistence, the Cosmos will jump right in and play along with us; creating a most beautiful symphony of Love.

Day 30
Today is day thirty, and we are three-quarters way finished. It has been a journey for all of us, moving from Rule to Rule. Implementing and integrating these divine rules of the heart into our lives. In the course of this journey, already, there have been some purgimg processes taking place. Old wounds surfacing and being healed. Past traumas finally coming to light with the pain of the past. With each of these bits of wisdom, we have been moving ever forward, as the rest of the world around us seems to change. Things, habits, ideology, and yes, maybe even people have dropped away. But we mustn’t blame them. We continue on our journey with Love and Hope, growing ever stronger and taller in our heart of hearts, not judging the leaves as they fall to the ground because they will feed our roots which keep us firmly anchored to the world of Compassion.

Rule 30
“The true Sufi is such that even when he is unjustly accused, attacked and condemned from all sides, he patiently endures, uttering not a single bad word about any of his critics. A Sufi never apportions blame. How can there be opponents or rivals or even “others” when there is no “self” in the first place? How can there be anyone to blame when there is only One?”

A True Lover never solely blames his mate because he knows they each took a part in the action of memory, and that really, underneath it all we are all One.

As mirrors of each other, blame and shame hold no value.

We all make mistakes, remember? “To err is human…” We cannot blame a fellow Lover for Being who they are in their current state of awareness. It would be the same as blaming fruit for spoiling or the Buddha for sneezing.

We can all do with a bit more forgiveness and compassion in our hearts. We can snuggle them right up next to our pain and sorrow and be comforted ourselves by them. We can step back and observe ourselves, ask the hard questions, and answer the even harder answers. We can let criticism roll right off of us, and keep writing, keep living, and keep Loving.

Our selves and each other. Because a True Lover knows…

it is by far no easy task to do. With breakups, I feel it is important that both need to express why they are/were unhappy so as not to repeat the same mistakes again in the future. But only when voices remain calm and loving rather than patronizing. In this way we can stop blaming each other and see that both had/have faults, and that not every situation is ideal at the time. Perhaps with time things can grow back after the purge, but only if both hearts are willing, forgiving, and trusting enough that things will never be as they were. Yes, life does indeed move on…


Rule 31
“If you want to strengthen your faith, you will need to soften inside. For your faith to be rock solid, your heart needs to be as soft as a feather. Through an illness, accident, loss or fright, one way or another, we are all faced with incidents that teach us how to become less selfish and judgmental and more compassionate and generous. Yet some of us learnthe lesson and manage to become milder, while some others end up becoming even harsher than before…”

Day 31

Is your faith in Love strong Beloved?

What lessons have you had to learn? What disappointments, what heartbreaks (if you feel comfortable sharing), what illnesses, accidents, losses, or close calls with death have been guideposts towards where you are now? Did they offer you a chance to become less judgmental and more compassionate? Or did they overall cause you to become harsher with yourself, others, and Love itself?

Three years ago, there was a 2 month period where I thought I had testicular cancer. The doctors knew there was something wrong, they could see it getting bigger and bigger. Ultrasounds, CTs, MRIs, and Bloodwork all were inconclusive, until I was sent to a specialist for a laparoscopy. I had no idea what was going on with my body. I was weak, I lost a lot of weight, and felt fatigued all the time. I thought I was slowly dying. Until one day, I came to terms with it about midway in, and started to LIVE. It showed me that at any time, at any age, at any moment, our lives can be taken away from us, and why would I want to spend my last days in dread? I’d very much rather go out with a bang and a full heart, and no regret.

Everything turned out fine in the end. I did need surgery. But it wasn’t cancer. It was a double hernia.

But my point remains true. Will you allow the pain of the past to cripple you in the present, squashing your faith? Would you watch a friend make the same mistake with passivity?

Beloveds, life is far too short to carry around resentment and bitterness. And yes, life’s lessons are hard ones. None of us escape The School of Hard Knocks unscathed, but wounds do heal. None of us get out alive, and we will never know what day we will be called to start a new lifetime. So why not take chances? Why not soften that heart of yours? Why not Love, and Live, and Love, and Love some more?

Wouldn’t you rather go with a smile on your face, rather than a frown?

Because, “having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage not weakness.” – Katherine Hennson

Day 32
Let Love and only Love be your guide.

Rule 32
“Nothing should stand between you and God. No imams, priests, rabbis or any other custodians of moral or religious leadership. Not spiritual masters and not even your faith. Believe in your values and your rules, but never lord them over others. If you keep breaking other people’s hearts, whatever religious duty you perform is no good. Stay away from all sorts of idolatry, for they will blur your vision. Let God and only God be your guide. Learn the Truth, my friend, but be careful not to make a fetish out of your truths.”

Even these Rules we should not lord them over other’s unwilling hearts. Use them as examples to open your heart, and by association others will be opened.

It is a fine line, this helping of others for we do not want to succumb to what religious/psychological extreme enthusiasts have done.

Because when we push, others tend to push back.

It is far easier to remain true to our own hearts and nudge lovingly without expectation.

Day 33
Fourth of July weekend is upon us, as is Christmas in July! (My more favourite holiday, although I am fond of sparklers and watching fireworks from a distance.)

I hope you all enjoy the coming festivities with Love in your hearts. You will most need it, especially dealing with challenging family members. ;-p But seriously now, there with holidays there is always that one person who might be able to get under your skin. Don’t allow it. Remember this and the others Rules thus far, and let criticism and the unhappiness of others to simply flow right off of you. Namaste~

Rule 33
“While everyone in this world strives to get somewhere and become someone, only to leave it all behind after death, you aim for the supreme stage of nothingness. Live this life as light and empty as the number zero. We are no different from a pot. It is not the decorations outside but the emptiness inside that holds us straight. Just like that, it is not what we aspire to achieve but the consciousness of nothingness that keeps us going.”

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When we embrace silence, when we embrace those moments in-between, we are free of expectation, and free from the chains that bind us to what is. There is a vastness that separates all things. In space, there are millions of objects all interspersed all independent of each other, although they make up a whole solar system, galaxy, universe. The same goes on inside of us, the space, the nothingness that separates our atoms from one another. We are indeed mostly empty space.

And what might we call this void space, this space between all of us?

We are still connected, somehow, by some force. I guess you could call that force Love. Is it that far of a stretch?

We all strive for our personal legends, we work hard for the better job, the better car, the better house, the etc. etc. etc. But really, does it really matter in the end? We can’t take any of it with us, only the memories.

All of that decoration that we in the material world strive to adorn ourselves and walls with. Credentials and ribbons are great reminders of our verve and passion in life, but what matters again most, is the memory, of how it affects us on the inside. How it affects the space, the endless void of the soul. How it affects our hearts.

The same goes for our failures.

By living lightly, we won’t take anything personally. We will not be weighed down by the world of coulda, shoulda, woulda. We will instead be able to rise towards that empty space called enlightenment where “nothing is meaning and meaning is nothing,” and where Love lives…


Day 34
Happy Fireworks are “Legal” Day! Set your hearts alight and watch them explode with beautiful multicoloured facets of light. Namaste~

Rule 34
“Submission does not mean being weak or passive. It leads to neither fatalism nor capitulation. Just the opposite. True power resides in submission, a power that comes within. Those who submit to the divine essence of life will live in unperturbed tranquillity and peace; even the whole wide world goes through turbulence after turbulence.”

Submission does not mean giving in, or completely accepting defeat in love, but rather accepting Grace and accepting the power of what is.

In our pursuits for Love, we do seem to go through turbulance after turbulance. But we weather the storm. We mustn’t allow ourselves to get pulled into the storm of despair and anger, instead we must remember to pull others and ourselves and our hearts within our peace.

Day 35
I sit here again Beloveds, in the most northern part of New York State.
The Adirondacks have given way to the Canadian border, that invisible line that seems to separate so much land and so many customs, ideologies, languages… and hearts.

Sometimes we need to remember that these are only lines that we have ourselves created and embraced. But we also may need nudges and reminders from time to time so that we can remember that these walls we have built can also be taken down by us too.

Rule 35
“In this world, it is not similarities or regularities that take us a step forward, but blunt opposites. And all the opposites in the universe are present within each and every one of us. Therefore the believer needs to meet the unbeliever residing within. And the nonbeliever should get to know the silent faithful in him. Until the day one reaches the stage of Al-Insan aI-Kamil, the perfect human being, faith is a gradual process and one that necessitates its seeming opposite: disbelief.”

The Lover must meet the Unloved within him or herself too.

In order to reach our inner primordial human being; to reach pure consciousness and one’s true identity; we must be able to meet these opposing factors within ourselves.

We must ask ourselves what walls we have built against Love?
We must ask ourselves why we want Love so much?
We must ask ourselves, why we think a relationship will last forever?
We must ask ourselves why we think a relationship will fail?
We must ask why we both keep running away and seeking Love?

We must look within and have the courage and vulnerability to answer.

Is it our pain-body? Past life trauma? Current life trauma?
Family issues, divorce, fear of commitment, fear of losing one’s sovereignty, abandonment issues…? The list goes on and on…

It can be a mixture of one or many, every situation is unique and personal.

If we do not, if we fail to meet these opposites within us, then we are doomed to live the rest of our lives following patterns of behaviour and live further lifetimes with not only much disappointment, but with the lingering feeling that something just isn’t right.

We will go our whole lives seeking the unattainable, because True Love has no walls, barriers, or imaginary lines on a map.

We will be out of balance. Our Yin & Yang will be off-kilter. We are all a mixture of polarities and opposites, we are all afraid, we are all scared, we are all guilty, and we are all excited, overjoyed, and enthralled when Love is in the here and Now. It is supposed to be messy and it is also supposed to be beautiful.

That’s the irony of Life and of Love.

Because, Beloveds, True Love knows no bounds and is one hell of a roller coaster of thoughts and feelings that swirl and whirl and confuse the hell out of us and make us dizzy. But it is up to you to figure out if you want to stop it, take a break for a time, and then get back on. Or if you want to stay, and laugh, and yes, maybe cry for all the world to see…

None of us are prepared. We just have to let our hearts and Love be our compass so that we may be pointed in the right direction towards the infinite wonder of Pure Love Consciousness.

Day 36
Being back in Albany after a sunny post wedding weekend road trip feels so comforting. It was certainly an unforgettable weekend of reciprocity. Love was met with Love, and frustration was met with frustration, lol.
Hugs for hugs, kisses for kisses, and rings for rings.

And oh goodness me did plots and dramas and tricks unfold. Haha…

Rule 36
“This world is erected upon the principle of reciprocity. Neither a drop of kindness nor a speck of evil will remain unreciprocated. For not the plots, deceptions, or tricks of other people. If somebody is setting a trap, remember, so is God. He is the biggest plotter. Not even a leaf stirs outside God’s knowledge. Simply and fully believe in that. Whatever God does, He does it beautifully.”

This is why the Powers That Be are so crafty. You never know what will happen, but you can laugh it all off and in time with Love joke about it for years to come. Again we have a rule centered around the idea of karma, and of the unseen powers that shape our reality. Their omnipresence ensures that nothing goes down without a proper reaction. There is cause and there is effect.

Trust that when good things happen they happen for a reason, and trust that when bad things happen there will be not only retribution but the scales will indeed balance out in the end.

Keep being the kind. Keep being the nice. Keep being the loving.
Keep being the open-hearted. Keep being the comic.
Keep being the loved.

I hope everyone had a beautiful holiday weekend! 

Time to go relax and enjoy the rest of the evening at home…

open your hands

Day 37
Over the course of these past 37 days I have tried to say this very thing. The clock is ticking. The time is Now. The place is Here.
It is never too late, until it is…

Rule 37
“God is a meticulous clock maker. So precise is His order that everything on earth happens in its own time. Neither a minute late nor a minute early. And for everyone without exception, the clock works accurately. For each there is a time to love and a time to die.”

In our country we have a tendency to forget that today, this day, could be the last day of our lives. But illusion and fantasy make us forget this. We think, that we are too young, we have so much time left.

We all go around thinking we have 100 years to live, but the hard truth is that we do not. Some of us go so soon. And some go so late. The truer truth is that we all however go when we are supposed to, but we mustn’t let that fool us into thinking and believing “oh some day.”

We can trust and have faith that everything will work in the end, well because it does. It always does… but maybe just not how we think it will or hope it will. We can step back a bit and let the Universe guide us along our paths, trusting in our destinies and our fate, but like I said before we mustn’t forget that at any moment, at any time, any minute could be our last. We all go through lifetime after lifetime learning, and growing, and teaching. We have purposes and we have meaning, and nothing happens when it isn’t supposed to, no matter how painful.

Beloveds, there will come a day when the person you love the most will die.

Beloveds, there will come a day when that person will be you.

Don’t live one second accepting the regret of a decision you have made. Don’t live one second accepting the lie that there is nothing you can do.
Don’t live one second more accepting that you are not worth it, or that you will never find love.

To die with regret is to die a sad sad death.
But to watch a loved one die, with a smile on their face and your hand on their heart, although hard, can be pure fricken joy.

“Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time. It tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other.” – Leo Buscaglia

So live every moment like it means something, because it does.
Make every day matter. Don’t waste a single second.

And if your heart is filled with despair, and pain, and suffering. Trust in that lesson. Trust in that things will turn around, but go make it happen. Your life can’t happen if you stand on the side lines.

Show up on his doorstep, and kiss him!
Ask for forgiveness. Say you were a fool.
Write that letter. Send that email.
The worst has already passed you.

Speak from the heart every single fucking day…
because today, who knows? It could be your last.

Day 38
Again I ask, with each of these Rules, have you felt a change in you?
For me, each of these past 38 days has been another layer of my Being stripped off. The past is slowly coming unglued to my core, and I cannot help but look toward what will happen next.

Rule 38
“It is never too late to ask yourself, “Am I ready to change the life I am living? Am I ready to change within?” Even if a single day in your life is the same as the day before, it surely is a pity. At every moment and with each new breath, one should be renewed and renewed again. There is only one-way to be born into a new life: to die before death.”

Like I said yesterday Beloveds, it is NEVER too late.
There is a difference between the guilt of an action that you have done from a place of Love, and the guilt of an action that you have done from a place of Fear.

These days, moments, and interactions with others affect us- so much so that we truly do die with each new encounter. We truly are changed and are never the same once they leave us, and we let go. Remember, everyone is a mirror and teaches us that one more lesson, that one more thing we did not know before about ourselves. With each passing day, we change. Our opinions and views of the world around us are shaped with each passing second and cloud in the sky. With each sunrise we rise again, renewed to look at and breath in a new day. And also, with each sunset we must say farewell and die just to be reborn in the morning.

Boredom is the crux of any True Lover, for the Truest Lover knows that Life should be Lived and Lived well. That it should be Loved and Loved WELL. Life should be an adventure, every day, the True Lover can see and experience new things that make it interesting…but when you can’t you know something must be done and change has to happen.

We have to go, leave, let go, move on; change our hair, our style, our perceptions, our surroundings to make up for this change. Our Souls, our Heart-Spirit, our Love all shift as we shift.

And with this change, we move on from the past, and let go of what hinders us to flourish and to embrace who we really are and always were too afraid to become. The person we were not only meant to be, but the person that no one expected us to be. The person that we really want to be, and to hell with the rest.

Because we all go through these periodic deaths that prepare us for the Big-Sleep. These mini-deaths that shape and transform and make us WHO WE ARE: Pure Beings of Love, no ands, ifs, or buts.

It is never too late…

So. My Beloveds, if you haven’t already, are You ready to change the life you are living? Are You ready to change within?

Day 39
Yesterday we spoke of change, and that it is never too late.
Here today, we have quite the paradox, where even though we have begun our fight to change and alter our Selves and Realities, underneath it all we still remain the same…Boy do those Sufis love their paradoxes! ;-p

Rule 39
“While the part changes, the whole always remains the same. For every thief who departs this world, a new one is born. And every decent person who passes away is replaced by a new one. In this way not only does nothing remain the same but also nothing ever really changes. For every Sufi who dies, another is born somewhere.”

There is a connection that permeates all reality. It is the glue that keeps everything together, as everything seems to fall apart.

For every layer removed, there will always be another, and another, and another…

That is the crux of the seeker, the wanderer, and the healer. We are vast Beings with even vaster hearts. There is a void within us, which is not to say that we are empty. (Yet another paradox). 

For every cruel word we stop saying, another insult arises in our psyches from the ego that wishes not to be left behind. For every bad situation that we overcome, there will be another that comes again.

For every beautiful accomplishment we make, there will be another goal to achieve. For every lover lost, another will find us. For every heartbreak there is a remedy. For every death there is a resurgence of Life.

In this way nothing ever truly changes in the grand design and scheme of things at its core. The spark that is our very essence, our Truest Self, never is truly lost at all when we think we have lost it.

So why bother trying?

This rule may be steeped in paradox, but the core of the meaning is that we must continue to grow in order to make a dent in our suffering and pain of others, however small it may be.

Which is noble, and true, and kind, and the path of a True Lover.

This also gives us hope for balance, and shows us our place in the galactic ratio of fear vs. love. Neither one “good” or “bad.” It just is. There is love and there is heartbreak. There are laughs and there are tears.

So we must continue to bother trying. We must.

We just must Beloveds. We can and we must.


Day 40
Well, Beloveds the day has finally come. Day Forty.
Here is the final Rule of the Religion of Love. Tomorrow we will talk a bit about the past forty days, but until then, let us absorb this last and most important rule into our hearts…

Rule 40
“A life without love is of no account. Don’t ask yourself what kind of love you should seek, spiritual or material, divine or mundane, Eastern or Western. Divisions only lead to more divisions. Love has no labels, no definitions. It is what it is, pure and simple. Love is the water of life. And a lover is a soul of fire! The universe turns differently when fire loves water.”

What would a life without love look like?

It would be a sad, and cruel, and ugly life indeed. Where everything, every person, every animal, plant, and thing would be taken for granted.

It would be very very boring. There would be no passion, no desire, no fire in which to go after your dreams. It would have no drive. We would be static and stagnant.

We should all know by now that “life without love is a ship without sails.”

And we should all know that love knows no bounds. It has no labels. And certainly Love has many faces. It doesn’t concern itself with religion, heritage, position, gender, or politics. It doesn’t worry about age or distance. It just is.

Love is what sustains us. It squenches our thirst while roaming in the desert. It feeds us and helps us to grow. It allows us to blossom, and helps us to that point where our souls ignite in divine ecstacy and we are consumed by the transformational fires of Love. Allowing for pure alchemy of the spirit.

We can find Love all around us. Every interaction is another chance at transforming our reality. It truly is everywhere. In the single mother walking her children to the bus stop. In the couple hand in hand at the grocery store. In the gesture of a stranger holding open a door…

Today, look around you. Look with the eyes of Love. What will you find?




One thought on “Forty Rules of Love in Forty Days

  1. Thank you for this! Will read it and savour it bit by bit. I have always wanted to read 40 Rules of Love so really appreciate you taking the time to share it here 🙂 Much love and all my good wishes!

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