(Master) Spring Cleanse


The presence of the season of Imbolc, the heart of Winter changing into Spring, is all about cleansing and purification.

Why is it that cultures all over the world like to open their windows, air out the stale air of the home and do a spot of spring cleaning?

But spring cleaning isn’t only about cleaning our homes, it’s about cleansing our very selves. Our very bodies.

One of my favourite cleanses to do every year is a combination of an Internal Salt Water Bath Intestinal Cleanse, a Whole Foods Cleanse, the Stanley Bourrough Master Cleanser, Elimination Cleanse & Dietary Test, and Body Therapy Cleanse. 

It’s real simple, and only takes about 3 months. You can do it for how ever long you wish, but I usually do it for the whole season. It’s important to push yourself, but only push yourself so far. You may find that during the cleanse you are prone to headaches, may shake and become very grumpy. This is normal because, in effect, your body goes through a sort of delirium tremens where you experience withdrawal symptoms. It’s scary to think about what we allow ourselves to consume normally outside of these guidelines.

Beginning with the Salt Bath Cleanse, just take 2 tsp of sea salt and mix it with 1 quart of lukewarm spring water.

Drink the whole damn thing first thing in the morning and DO NOT EAT for 1-2 hours. Also, DO NOT go anywhere for awhile. This is going to be a fun day. This is basically a stay at home colonoscopy bowel prep, so stay in your comfy clothes, and for gods-sakes, stay close to your toilet. Do this for the first day, and just drink either peppermint or catnip tea twice a day there after.

It is probably a good idea to steer clear of binge eating/drinking the night before you begin this whole cleansing process. Also, probably not a good idea to drink too much alcohol either during the week-long process as it will feel like someone has come along and hit you with a train for several days after. So stay smart.

As for beginning the Whole Foods Cleanse, this can be a very good thing to continue throughout the springtime, or even incorporate into your every day life for the whole year. The biggest rule is, if it’s processed, in a box or in a can- it’s not edible. So no frozen pizzas, no brownies in a box, no Cheese- Its. No fast foods. No deep-fried, high trans fatty, greasy gruel.

Here are the foods that are okay: real foods. You know, anything in the fresh produce aisle. The raw, crunchy, colourful, smelly-good real-food foods. Easy enough?

We are talking fresh fruits& veggies. Seeds, nuts, whole grains: brown rice, millet, wheat, rye, oats; beans: pinto, mung, lentils, garbanzos. If it doesn’t say “whole grain” then it isn’t a whole grain. And have fun and be creative. Of course this forces us to actually cook our food and prep it ourselves, but just imagine how happy you will be making your body. I know a quick Big Mac or Dominos Pizza sounds great, but with the McStomachaches and Domin-no-nos. I think it would be better to just make it yourself with whole-food ingredients.

The Stanley Bourrough’s Master Cleanse:

Grab a glass water bottle, as toxins will leach into the water from plastics.

Take 8 ounces of cold H2O

NOTE: the water should be filtered spring water, as clean from the source as possible and not plastic-bottled water of course.

and add the following:

2 TBS freshly squeezed Lemon/Lime juice– Rich in Vit C these astringents contract and tighten tissues releasing deep toxins. Also, lemons have natural antiviral, antifungal, and antibacterial properties.

1-2 TBS 100% Pure Maple Syrup, not the cheaper processed imitated version- yay, sweet healthy energy!

& 1/10 tsp Cayenne Pepper– this adds heat energy, clears the blood and eliminates toxins/mucus.

Drink 8-12 glasses per day for about a week or two.

NOTE: I suggest alternating day-to-day syrup/honey/agave nectar as these are natural primary sugars. And vary the sweetness to your desire. These are great calories in the form of tasty sweet energy. Also, it is good to rinse your mouth with water to clear the lemon and maple from your teeth since the sugars and acids can pull calcium from those pearly whites.

As for the Elimination Cleanse and Dietary Test you can start where you are and end it wherever you wish. This takes about a month. This is the fun part because this really tests your will-power. Be prepared to have healthy snacks on hand, i.e. trail mixes. Because if you don’t you will turn into a total and complete grouchy pants. I’m talking, a hungry where’s my f*cking chocolate kind of mad-man. So, be prepared and please tell your friends and family before hand. They deserve a fair warning, and a fair trial. It is also important to tell them what you can and can not eat/drink so that they may be mindful. Of course, you will always have those people who will sit in front of you and flaunt their triple-chocolate hot fudge brownies, and you will have to fight the urge to pummel them with the baking pan whilst digging your hands into the ooey-gooey goodness of it all. But, remember, patience is a virtue.

Day 1- Eat your normal diet.
2- Eliminate all chemicals from diet, e.g. food additives, drugs (non-prescription), nicotine, alcohol, caffeine.
3- Eliminate all processed foods- refined sugar, white enriched flour and their products.
4- Eliminate meat products- any live or once living animal.
5- Eliminate dairy foods- all cow, goat, chicken products.
6- Eliminate nuts and beans.
7- Eliminate seeds.
8- Eliminate grains, eating only fruits and…
9- …vegetables. Eat fresh fruits and vegetables in…
10- …raw, steamed, or juiced forms. (3 days)
11- Fruit and vegetable juice and broth only. No cans…
12- …juices should be fresh or bottled, naturally squeezed. (2 days)
13- Water only- spring or well- not tap water…
14- …These may be rest days. (2 days)
15- Fruit and vegetable juice again.
16- Fruit- one kind at a time (3-4 hours between kinds), one large or two small fruits.
17- Add vegetables.
18- Add grains.
19- Add seeds.
20- Add nuts and beans.
21- Add dairy foods.
22- Add meat, only one kind per day…
23- …and only if desired- you are…
24- …now more sensitive. (3 days).
25- Add any processed foods- if desired/ tolerated.
26- Add any chemicals or drugs- if desired/ tolerated.

NOTE: Whilst all this cleansing there is another, very important cleanse to do. A Body Therapy Cleanse. Our skin eliminates alot of toxins via sweating, so I also suggest going to the spa, sauna, and taking lots of luscious warm baths with oatmeal, essential oils, and sea salts. Exfoliate and think about what you are cleaning your body with. Are the soaps/shampoos and conditioners really very healthy for you. What are the ingredients? It’s all about working on the complete body, just be sure to be drinking your water!

Good luck!

Staying Healthy With the Seasons by Elson M. Haas, M.D. 21st Century Edition.


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